Hello! Sorry that I’ve been so inactive; I kinda forgot that I made this thing for a second LOL! I appreciate the little following that has taken off as I didn’t expect anything to come from this at all. Hopefully I can get this whole thing started on a consistent level with writing prompts and samples so we can really begin to share! I did have a few question for any of you willing to leave comments. My main goal with this is to give us all that creative outlet, but I don’t want to overwhelm you guys with silly prompts twice a week :(. While prompts are super helpful to me getting the juices flowing while I write for publication, I think the goal with this should be a little more life based. I like the idea of setting the mood (maybe for the week?) with my own personal story and a piece of my own writing. After that allow you guys some time to get some stuff together and see what conversations can spark!
A Look at 2019 Thus Far
So, I hope all of you brought in the New Year right! I’ve probably had better celebrations and made much better decisions, but it’s ok! My logic is, if I start the year off with reckless thoughts I’ll end the year with a clear head; We’ll see how that plays out!
If I can take a second to be vulnerable with you all, the biggest cause of my lack of judgment was trying to rekindle things with my ex. If anyone has ever been here, you know the emotional rollercoaster that this whole process can be. The undeniable love and click that you have for each other that makes “talking” feel a whole lot like “dating”, even if it’s only been a few days! The wall that you build up between you and them emotionally so you don’t get hurt; that feeling that you’re giving it everything while they give it nothing. Yes, Yes, I had to deal with all of that. I may have blown it out of proportion though (feel free to weigh in new family LOL!) you see the Christmas season came and went, a loving time right? Well I just wanted to talk to my woman so badly, and yet she ignored me all week :(. I had this moment of “what the hell is her problem?” “does she want to end things?” natural panic, at least I hope. Needless to say, I just started blowing up her phone-not in a possessive way-but in a way of getting what I felt I deserved!
You see, I’m a FIRM believer in people make time for what they want. I feel as though if I text my lady friend “hey, hope you’re having a good day!” I should get a proper response. We are in our early twenties, she works her way through school, and her family from all over the world was around so I get not being able to talk all day. To not talk at all was never in my plan, ESPECIALLY when she’s still all over social media. I go on this whole tangent to say, if you have time to be on social media….you certainly have time to text you’re significant other back with that “thinking of you” energy. I’m also pointing out, to those in the new fam that may not know, that when you do not reciprocate that energy it hurts your loved one at least a little. Texting is just a silly small example, so imagine bigger things! Let’s be empathetic to one another in 2019 no matter how silly it may seem to us.
Anyways, my girlfriend left me cause “I’m too much drama and need to be babied” which I translate as just wanting to talk LOL. Drunk and upset, like most people my age, I decided that rather than face my problem I was going to run out and have a one night stand; against my usual introverted party techniques. I’m not really sure how to feel about it to be honest LOL, but I’m sure there are worst ways to bring in the New Year.
As I advance into 2019, my team and I have begun our research to get our therapy center off the ground! It all starts with going back to school, so we still have some time, but we have decided to look deeper into the nonprofit way of opening the organization! Stay tuned for more updates on that as it will be a huge focus for me all 2019!
Empathy & Consistency
So, I’ll try it this way-assuming most of you made it through my long winded update. My themes for this week will be poems, pros, or even art and pictures that speak to the idea of empathy and consistency!
I wrote a whole poetry collection devoted to my struggles with depression and how my girlfriend ignored it. It’s titled “21 Calls” which as I’m sure you can imagine speaks to 21 calls I made before an attempt at my life; 21 ignored calls. I wanted to write the collection to speak to the people in relationships who can’t possibly feel or understand what their significant other is feeling, I was prepared to perform these at an open mic in fact! I’ll share one of the poems I look forward to editing out of the collection it’s the 6th one in the whole collection so sorry if it’s confusing, but hopefully you see how it would call to empathy! I would gladly share more if you all are interested, and please feel free to comment and critique 🙂
a poem by Averi Rose
It seems so many things happen to me in threes anymore
I’ve lost my third uncle in less than a year
My father had his first mental break down in front of me on ninth which took me
Three days to truly figure out and I cried
I’ve flattened my third tire,
As I listened to the rim scrap the concrete I could see the
Black wires in my mirror as I came to a stop and thought
This would be the third time in three months that my poor parents
Would have to spend 300 on
It snowed three days this week, the week that my winter boots stink
So, I went outside with holes in my shoes
Water seeped to my feet leaving mold in the seams
Athletes feet I would soon meet
I had three women really feeling me last week
That was pretty neat, I could’ve laid with any one as I pleased but-
I screwed up by bragging about each of the three to one another
A silly drunk blunder that would leave me on the phone with my mother
So, you see there are certainly highs and lows
That I’ve seen, where the number three has been all around me
If you believe in things like fate, then maybe its
Out of all of these things, none seem to hurt me quite like
This being the third time in three
Days that you’ve not answer the phone.
While I’m isolated and alone with
Demons who have formed a legion
Encouraging me to bring things to an end
If this was truly love, how could you ignore me while this episode
It’s been three months since my last episode like this, but I gave in
To my cardinal sin of thinking
I could fall in love with you for a third time.
I wanted the poem to speak to how there’s always more going on in ones world than a person may think. While to you it may be just “one phone call” or “one whatever”, to the person you love it could be the emotional breaking point! Whether it be just for that moment, that day, or it’s the fatal breakdown that leads to a suicide; every breakdown hurts and it’s important to think in a none egotistical way as a lover.
I look forward to seeing what some of you come up with and really encourage you to share some stuff! Goodnight!
Hello you guys! I am Averi Rose and I am looking to form a community of writers, creative minds overall that want to share their stories! My team and I have lost plenty of loved ones due to suicide and lack of proper communication with those suffering from mental illness. As it as crushed our hearts and ruined our homes, we are sure that it has done the same for a lot of you.
How This all Started
Our journey starts with me going to college in Fall of 2015. I’m actually finishing up my undergraduate degree in creative writing! Any ways, I came to college and I was in love with the idea of becoming a fiction writer. Along the way I’ve made some good friends and faced some huge reality checks. While being famous authors may be our goal, we have to do something to keep a roof over our heads. We started to panic, which played a small role in each of our own forms of depression. As college life happened (girlfriends, parties, first time failing classes) the demons of depression started to overcome our lives. We all found ourselves hurting, though we never wanted to speak on it, we could always write about it. It was then that I saw the power of hiding behind the pen and allowing fiction to tell a greater story for us. I decided to look into writing therapy, its own exclusive form of therapy. Psychologist have began to use this in their practice but only as a secondary option, and only in one on one settings. I want to set something up where a lot of us sit together and share our work together!
My personal story with suicide and depression is a pretty short lived one. It all started when I was a sophomore in High School and there was no logical reason. I was on the varsity football team, I had a girlfriend, I was popular enough…what could really be wrong? I truly didn’t know myself, so I just ignored it all. It wasn’t until my Senior year when I truly tried to kill myself for the first time, when things became too real. I’m a pretty emotional guy, despite being a 280 pound Defensive Lineman, I wear my heart on my sleeve. It makes it so easy for me to get hurt mainly because I can soak up energy from those around me like an absolute sponge. Being involved with a toxic person led to me opening a toxic side of my brain; a side that once I opened I was never going to be able to close. I’ve spent the past 3 and a half years of my life silently battling depression but I’m hoping to change that. My personal battle can take be to some dark places, over things big or small, and that does bother me a lot. Through leading this community with my team, I hope to learn much more about depression and how to handle it. I also hope to help as many of you as I can who are once where I was (the guy hanging from a tree outside or driving his car into the river.)
Our goal is simple: to write our own fiction stories, a form of therapy on the page. From here we will share the stories and speak to each other’s existence. We want you all to see that we are much more alike than we are different. More importantly, we want you all to have a community that you can turn to when the demons become a little too hard to fight alone; because you will never be alone once you join this movement. We stand together. While this whole thing is for therapy, that doesn’t mean that it can’t be fun! Let’s just alway be creating, all of us together! There will be opportunities to publish and maybe even weekly/monthly competitions once we really get things going! In any way my team and I can help you, feel free to reach out! Submit stories to the email on our contact tab! We also accept poetry and artwork!
Thanks for joining me!
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton